Curious Snippets

I did feel slightly guilty at chucking over this story. Then I got over it and laughed some more.

Children taking part in a study to measure how much exercise they do fooled researchers by attaching their pedometers to their pet dogs.

Genius. What made the researchers suspicious?

"But after a week we found there were some kids who were extremely active but still obese," said Professor Maffulli.

The scales don't lie chubby cheeks! But this I find find quite bizarre...

Once adjusted to take into account the help from pets, the study indicated that boys in the borough walk or run 12,620 steps a day, below the recommended level of 15,000 steps.

It also found that girls take 10,150 steps, falling short of the recommended 12,000 steps.

Huh? Ok, I get the calorie thing and why women have a lower limit, but why should women have a lower recommended 'step count'? Well, actually I can sort of see that as well, but why should women walk any less distance than men during the day? 2,500 steps less in fact.

Is it because they cunningly get us men to run around after them, fixing their mistakes, and generally working harder?  I want answers!

My morning has just been ruined due to my remembering a very annoying thing yesterday.

I was listening to some news programme, and they were talking about teenage pregnancy rates. Some do-gooder being interviewed said something about us having to help 'people at risk of teenage pregnancy'!!! The words used which i distinctly remember were "at risk".

I'm sorry, it is not a disease. You cannot be "at risk" of pregnancy unless you are the Virgin Mary*. I suggest that we immediate solve this problem by telling all "at risk" girls to KEEP THEIR FUCKING LEGS TOGETHER!

*And what a load of crock that is! Worst excuse ever, and the gullible husband fell for it.

News reports that scientists have grown a functioning human sperm in a lab have raised deep philosophical questions.

For instance, why is this necessary when the country is full to the brim with wankers? We could employ ex-politicians to sire children, in the knowledge that their genetics will create very socially mobile offspring. Gordon Brown, for example, posseses no identifiable merit or intellect, and yet has risen to the highest office in the land. He 'wanks higher than anybody in Wome', so to speak.

Just a thought.

Maybe the BNP simply dislike the word because it's of 'foreign' (Roman) origin?

They let this cunt near children?

Thanks to David Maddox for this gem. During a debate on BBC Scotland last night, marking a decade of devolution, Iain Gray, leader of the Labour party at Holyrood, boasted of the parliament's achievements:

Has it [the Scottish Parliament] made a difference?" he asked rhetorically. "Yes it has. When the Parliament started one in five children in this country lived in poverty. That's now one in three. That's    significant progress."

God knows, mind you, how much more of this progress we can take.

Oh, Iain Gray was once a teacher. His subject? Mathematics, obviously...

The British National Party was today accused of operating illegally and threatened with an injunction over its whites-only membership policy.

The Equality and Human Rights Commission threatened the legal action over what it claimed were “potential breaches” of race discrimination law by the far-right nationalist party

Why? For what possible reason does this make any sense whatsoever? First of all, on practical grounds, how many non-white people are going to apply for a job at BNP HQ? Surely there must be some Muslim immigrants willing to do a bit of filing? I mean it's just ludicrous. Changing the policy wont have a material impact.

But far more importantly, it should be for any private organisation to choose its own criteria for employment. And as for the membership policy of the nasty party, have the commission heard of freedom of association and freedom of assembly?

It is a tragedy that this country has come to these low depths. And that is not to mention the massive free publicity the commission will award the BNP by taking legal action, and the increase in support they will give it by pursuing this action. How about they just fuck off and stop pushing their communist equality agenda?

The Telegraph reports...

Gypsies and travellers should be given priority in NHS hospitals and GP surgeries, according to Government guidance.
They should be given longer consultations, and should be seen by GPs when they walk in without an appointment, even if doctors are fully-booked.

The average length of a consultation is five or ten minutes but travellers will be given 20 minutes and allowed to bring relatives into the consulting rooms.

The guidelines have been introduced because, under race laws, gypsies and travellers are defined as minority ethnic groups and the NHS is obliged to consider their special needs and circumstances.

No, no, no. Everyone is equal, but...!

A 14-year-old German lad survived a close encounter with a meteorite when a pea-sized piece of rock travelling at 30,000 mph left him with nothing more than a "nasty" three-inch gash on his hand.

According to the Telegraph, Gerrit Blank was on his way to school in Essen when a bright light in the sky heralded the arrival of the red-hot space rock. It bounced off his hand before embedding itself in a foot-wide crater in the ground.

Blank recounted: "At first I just saw a large ball of light, and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand. Then a split second after that there was an enormous bang like a crash of thunder."

"The noise that came after the flash of light was so loud that my ears were ringing for hours afterwards. When it hit me it knocked me flying and then was still going fast enough to bury itself into the road."

Subsequent tests on the teen-bashing space pea proved its provenance. Ansgar Kortem, director of Germany's Walter Hohmann Observatory, confirmed: "It's a real meteorite, therefore it is very valuable to collectors and scientists.

My concern is that this lad doesn't develop any superhuman powers from his brush with this extra-terrestrial rock fragment.

The kid doesn't appear to wear glasses, so if he starts wearing them in a couple of years it will be a sure sign.

Caroline "I haven't read the Lisbon Treaty" Flint has resigned as Europe Minister, accusing Brown of using women in cabinet as "window dressing". But this part of her resignation letter struck me...

In my current role, you advised that I would attend Cabinet when Europe was on the agenda.  I have only been invited once since October and not to a single political Cabinet - not even the one held a few weeks before the European elections.

You mean the Cabinet has ONLY discussed the EU ONCE in almost 9 months? Are you kidding? When 75% of legislation originates there it should be on every single Cabinet meeting agenda, no?

Whoop, Whoop. The Brown government is at last falling apart. 3 ministers have resigned, though unfortunately only one slamming Brown.

It's death by a thousand cuts......or is the there a letter missing in that last word?

I think the new phrase I shall be using is "..couldn't organise a vote in a polling station".

The UKIP call centre has been inundated with phone calls from angry voters saying that UKIP was not on the ballot paper. In fact in some polling stations the ridiculously large ballot paper had been folded into 3 parts and some people have missed the 3rd fold. This has been happening across the country and we have been told some voted for No2EU because they couldn't see UKIP.

Needless to say there will be a complaint. But is it too much to ask that we can run an election properly in 2009

The sage of Sweden delivers yet another fine piece of brain crappery to delight her devoted braindead followers. The first point of stupidity...

Throw out bad councils, and vote for Lib Dems in Europe. Don't use local polls to throw stones at national parties. But do reward the most principled pro-EU party we have

and

how extraordinary if Ukip is the chief beneficiary of the current scandal. Nigel Farage admits legally drawing £2m in EU expenses and employing his wife, while one of his MEPs was jailed for benefit fraud and another faces prosecution for laundering money and false accounting on his EU expenses. Ukip is no repository for clean-them-out sentiment, yet some polls put it second, pushing Labour into a humiliating third.

But the Lib-Dems haven't exactly been clean themselves have they pols?

There is little difference between Conservative and Ukip votes – both open the EU exit door.

Huh? I think there is a few hundred miles of clear water between UKIP and the Tories. For starters the UKIP position is the only honest one. The Tories make vague pledges with caveats padding out the detail. The Tories promise reform but deliver fuck all. UKIP wants a relationship of cooperation but where our Westminster Parliament is sovereign and has the sole authority to pass and impose laws on the British people.

If Cameron does hold an anti-Lisbon referendum, it will in effect be an in-or-out referendum – and out it would probably be. This is extreme ideological policymaking, commercially and diplomatically disastrous, riskier by far than anything Margaret Thatcher contemplated

If Polly ranks leaving the EU worse then Margaret Thatcher then it must definitely be the right move!!

But it is nonsense. Those people who argue we would lose our voice in the world by leaving the EU are the same who accuse UKIP members of believing in empire and that we can stand alone. Well, frankly, I couldn't give a damn about our 'voice' in the world. So what if we we became like Switzerland? Why the need to be a powerful force? Bit nationalistic isn't it Polly?

On present polls the combined Conservative and Ukip "out" vote conquers all. Britain has turned more anti-European after 12 years of a Labour government, despite Tony Blair promising to put us "at the heart" of Europe – even "leading in Europe". This rise in Euroscepticism is odd, as there is no onward march of the sovereignty-sapping federalism of Murdoch, Mail or Telegraph fantasy. On the contrary, the rest of Europe looks increasingly less eager for further reductions in national decision-making.

What? You mean the Lisbon treaty, which scraps over 40 national vetoes, is not integrationist? The treaty which is self amending, incorporates the fundamental charter of rights and makes the ECJ the absolute highest court in the land? Are you of your fucking rocker?

Name one single power that has been returned to national level since the EU came into existence. I'm waiting.....still waiting....!!!

But Polly has found the culprit - the root of all evil...

Who is to blame? Murdoch as usual

A nice shoehorn if ever i saw one.

It was he who pulled Blair back from joining the euro, which we may yet bitterly regret.

I'm sorry, please explain why. What about the fact that lower interest rates would have made the bubble and consequent bust even bigger, making unemployment even bigger, hitting families even harder? You fucking imbecile. But then I ought to listen to such a well educated individual...

(she had failed the Eleven Plus examination), she won a scholarship to read history at St Anne's College, Oxford, despite gaining only one A-level.^[2] During her gap year she worked for Amnesty International in pre-independence Rhodesia, before being expelled by the government,^[2] and she published a first novel, Leftovers, in 1966.^[2]

After 18 months at Oxford, she dropped out, choosing to work in blue-collar jobs in a factory and a burger bar, hoping to write in her spare time. She later said "I had a loopy idea that I could work with my hands during the day and in the evening come home and write novels and poetry, and be Tolstoy...

She reached her peak at the burger bar methinks.

This woman is an offence to intelligence. When her brain cell collides with an idea, much like nuclear fusion, they are instantaneously converted into pure ignorance in a flash of stupidity.

The Scottish idiot knows no bounds...

He may be under pressure over his own future, but Gordon Brown leapt to the defence of Britain's Got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle today.

Speaking on GMTV, Brown hinted that while his kids preferred Diversity, he had backed Boyle in the final.

But most noteworthy of all, the Prime Minister revealed that he had rung Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan personally last night to check if Ms Boyle was OK following her defeat. "I hope Susan Boyle is OK, because she is a really, really nice person," he said.

Was this the act of a man genuinely worried about the mental health and welfare of a fellow Scot? Or was it a cynical attempt to show he's in touch with the zeitgeist?  Either way, given that Boyle is huge in America and is sure to sell records there, his words are bound to be big news in the States.

I think he just can't resist trying to micro-manage our lives and felt he had to personally intervene to ensure her welfare. The question is, when will Brown be sent to the Priory for his mental issues?

Polly Toynbee must be grinning from ear to ear..

The number of UK millionaires has more than halved as the recession has bitten into the earnings of the super-wealthy, a report has claimed.

There are now 242,000 millionaires across the country, down from a peak of 489,000 in 2007, said the Centre for Economics and Business Research (CEBR).

That's right, inequality is falling at its fastest rate in many years. All down to a Labour Government. Does it get any better than this, for our dear socialist?

Over the bank holiday weekend my mind started to wander. Whilst munching my way through a bread stick (see below), I had the following thought...

If I had gone on to Dragon's Den and pitched the idea..."You see, its bread, but its hard and in the shape of a long thin stick"...what kind of response would I have received?

I have a feeling I would hear..."You've over engineered a solution to a problem that doesn't exist...I'm out!".

And yet breadsticks are made, and sold. But I would not have walked away with the capital required to get my idea off the ground.

There is absolutely no point to this post, just that it is interesting to think the idea would have been ripped apart by 'expert businessmen' but in reality would be a great success.

Now if only I could generate some interest in my dough balls.....

Apparently the Guardian has an economics editor - LMAO!

Ok, so I am not a fan of the Pious Prius, not least because like all green-mobiles the designers think they have to make it look as ugly as fuck in the misguided belief that it is somehow funky-stoneage chik!

But I digress. Toyota has just launched a new model. No, it isn't any better looking but, wait for it, it is more green. Wehey, let there be dancing in the streets. Or not.

The new Prius gets a combined 50 miles per gallon, compared with 46 mpg for the 2009 model, Toyota said.

50mpg? is this a fucking joke? My Diesel Audi A3 1.9l regularly gets more than 50mpg. I have a nice little display which shows me how great a driver I am and in fact on most journeys I get around 53-58mpg and regularly exceed 60mpg. Admittedly I do a lot of motorway driving, but even around town and country lanes I hardly ever get less than 43mpg.

My Co2 emissions mean I have to pay £120 or whatever it is because I am in Band D. My old Peugeot was worse and my tax was higher, but changing my car and all the carbon emissions involved in manufacturing it don't seem to be counted by the tax man.

So I want to know - if I am doing a better job at saving the planet why do I have to pay more tax?

Sorry for neglecting this blog over the past couple of weeks. I have been very busy with various things, primarily Independence Home, which has got off to a roaring start.

I thought I would pop back to post on the latest YouGov opinion poll which makes for fascinating reading. For starters it has UKIP on 19% of the vote of those certain to vote (15% generally), and in the South of England we are registering 22%. In 2004 we ended up with 19.5% of the vote in the South East so fingers crossed we are on course to smash our 2004 success.

This support is backed up by the response I have been getting on the high street and at public meetings. The anti-politicians mood of the nation is undoubtedly making people turn to anti-establishment parties to protest, but interestingly UKIP seems to be the SOLE beneficiary mopping up the entire 12 points dropped by Labour and the Conservatives.

Our call centre has overflowed to head office and elsewhere as the phones are ringing off the hook. We are being sent cheques for sizeable sums and have requests from people wanting leaflets, posters, etc.

All in all this is a fascinating and very exciting campaign. The main parties are smarting from the backlash and unable to talk about Europe, not that they would want to anyway. Roll on June 4th and let's get some nice, younger, libertarian-UKIP folk elected!

Not only are our MPs up to their receding hairlines in the Parliamentary trough, but they also appear to have no taste whatsover...

John Reid claimed for a pouffe and a glittery loo seat on MPs' expenses

Honestly! As if pillaging the taxpayer wasn't bad enough.

The BBC is not noted for its highbrow news, and nor for treating its viewers like intelligent adults. But it has excelled itself with this nice little video which explains the European Parliament through the medium of cake!!

Another 'downfall' mashup, this time its David Cameron lamenting the presence of UKIP in the European elections.

Councils could be required to expand popular schools, build new ones or compel poor performers to join a "federation" with neighbouring establishments.

The Prime Minister's speech will be one of the few he has given on education since he became leader and he will use it to try and highlight the difference in policy between Labour and the Tories.

Don't get me wrong, giving parents more power is great. But suggesting there is actually any difference in policy between the two parties is absurd.

Northamptonshire Police are being ordered to use megaphones to shout crime prevention advice at residents who leave their doors or windows open.

Officers have also been instructed to go into unlocked properties and alert homeowners to the security risk - even to the point of waking them up if they are asleep.

It is all part of a scheme that will see them patrolling the streets with the megaphones, shouting at homeowners to ensure their properties are properly protected.

Jesus fucking H Christ. This is just wrong on so many levels.

The move is part of an initiative to crack down on summer burglaries, but has not gone down too well with local residents, who criticised it as patronising and intrusive. Shirley Partridge, 75, said: "I don't want police officers coming into my house and bellowing at me with a megaphone telling me to lock my windows and doors.

Too bloody right. Here's the clue as to why this is wrong- It is private property. PRIVATE. That means 'fuck off if you're not the owner'.

Officers are patrolling residential streets bellowing: "This is the police, shut your windows and lock your doors, don't let burglars in."

Hmm. This sounds familiar. Oh yes - V for Vendetta? And a myriad of other dystopian films where an authoritarian state has snatched the liberties of its people.

According to police, one in four of the 30 recent burglaries was down to tenants failing to lock up their houses properly and the average cost of a burglary to the force is around £3,300.

If only there was some way in which the victims of crime could compensate the police for this inconvenience. Oh, wait a fucking jack flash....it's called TAXATION!!!

But thank God we have intelligent Inspectors to explain the cause of burglaries...

Insp Mike Grady said: "Sadly, a good proportion of burglaries in this county take place at homes that have been left insecure.

No shit. I am intrigued as to the proportion of burglaries that take place at secure homes. In other news, bears crap in the woods.

I despair. I really do. Now DK, what about that seasteading?

That's right. One Whitehall just isn't enough. We need another one.

The government is looking at the possibility of a "Whitehall" for north-west England.
Plans have been drawn up for a civil service "campus", close to Piccadilly Station in Manchester city centre.
In total, more than 5,000 civil servants could be based on the Mayfield site by 2014, the government said.

Christ. The horror. Poor Manchester, having 5,000 civil servants descend.

Or, how about we stop pissing tax money up the wall, cut the number fo civil servants, and make use of existing office space in Whitehall. Or if we must push it out to the regions then sell off this spare office space and use the money to pay for the relocation. Can we stop recruiting please? And can we stop spending money on self-indulgent projects like this?